When you think of a bully the first image that often comes to mind is the school bully, the biggest boy in the school yard who’s holding up the little guy’s collar and demanding lunch money. There’s more to bullying than the big boy.
A bully is a blustering, browbeating person, especially one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller. Whether it’s the stereotypical schoolyard boy or the mean boss who makes others work over time, traditionally it refers to a single individual who makes life harder for others. Today bullying is categorized in multiple forms. The bully can be an individual or a group that makes life hard for someone or a group, the victim.
In the UK Prime Minister Theresa May created the “Minister of Loneliness”. Studies suggest that loneliness can be as unhealthy as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness can be not being with another person. For some loneliness is a way of life, working from an apartment and living without a roommate.
Others experience loneliness because of isolation – cut off from other people. Some who is around or with other people but is separated and feels loneliness. It can be physical isolation, not having anyone to be with because of where you are. Even though you’re in a packed office you’re cut off from everyone because you’re in a cubicle. Because the bathrooms are private the only place you talk to co-workers is at the water fountain or while you’re in line for the bathroom. When commuting anywhere you’re on public transit and not with someone you know.
Isolation loneliness is also experienced because of exclusion, not with others because they don’t want you with them, aka the high school popularity effect that leaves you alone to suffer loneliness. Someone who lives in Canada but doesn’t drink and know how to play hockey is left out of the weekly Saturday bar night when people talk about their week, plans, and themselves, not just Nazim Kadri and how he’s playing against Montreal. Continue reading →